The following page provides the lyrics to the song "Millennium Puzzles Are Worse Than Keys", which was written and recorded by Osmosis. The song is the fourth track off of the band's second full-length album, The Dragon Ball's the Most Important Body Part.


Stand by,

Wooden soldier

Cross my heart and hope to die

Here's to psychotic breakdowns

All aboard the Massacre Express

Butchery and subjugation be our calling cards

Don't object to anything I say or you'll get electrocuted


Perversion's the way we run things,


And make sure we don't leave out criminal activity

The government's busy sniffing each other's asses

We're an audacious and vulgar crew

Leaping off school buildings and shitting all over your family

Fuck times infinity

This ain't no bullet train,

It's a goddamn carnival

The lion's share of Earth is what we're gonna conquer

We always got aces up our sleeves

One minute philanthropic,

The next repulsive in the most fun way possible

Because I smell impudence within the passengers,

I can expect them to get martyred

What say you?

Your reason for being dullards has bloated out of control

Despoil you

Despoil you

Oh, how precious it would be to despoil you

Track detailsEdit

  • Length: 3:38
  • Genre: Post-industrial, heavy metal, alternative metal, glam rock
  • Producer: Matt Bayles
  • Band performance: Osmosis



  • The title of the song is a reference to Yu-Gi-Oh!.